I love God’s word.
I love God’s people.
But sometimes it is a struggle for me to love God.
And clearly, that is all on me.
The constant battle to trust Him wages war in my heart and mind. Sometimes instead of fighting that battle, I run. Away.
I allow the distance to creep in and I allow myself to feel isolated and hollow.
God does not run away from me though.
Despite the distance I try to put between us, He pursues me relentlessly.
When I am feeling distant I need repentance.
When I am feeling distant I need to worship (despite not feeling like it).
When I am feeling distant I need to remember; to look back down the road of my life and count the many Ebenezer’s of God’s faithfulness.
When I am feeling distant I need to run. Not away from, but to Him.
Those things do not come naturally to me.
This is my constant battle.
But I don’t want to live my life loving God’s word, or God’s people more than I love Him.
And I can’t live my life in His abiding love when I am running in the opposite direction.
When I am feeling distant I need to fight to trust, to repent, to remember and then I need to cling.
Cling to the cross that has brought me into God’s family as a wanted daughter.
Cling to the gospel that reminds me that God’s love for me is extreme.
Cling to the Word that reminds me of the goodness of God’s character.
Cling to the Father that has promised me that all things are for my good…even when they don’t feel like it.
Cling to Christ in whom my identity is found.
For those who are in Christ, the distance we feel from God is on us, not on Him. We can fight, repent, run towards and cling, or we can run away, suppress the truth, and chase idols.
Either way we will likely be a little tired.
But at the end of one pursuit lies peace, grace and a compassionate forgiveness that compels us to love.
At the end of the other chase lies broken hearts, weariness, heavy burdens and constant emptiness.
The first one sounds a whole lot better to me.
So, when I feel distant, I need to run. Not away, but towards a God who never distances Himself from me.
I need to stop fighting, and start resting even when it’s the last thing I want to do.
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